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Infertility (not-so) Anonymous

Posted on July 9, 2019     Leave a Comment

I cried over some sippys. And by cried, I mean ugly-face bawled. Toddler B’s dentist said it was time to switch sippys. No more spouts, it’s time to move onto the big-boy trainer cups. In the dentist office, I was as cool as a cucumber. In real time, as I took the sippys off the […]

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Our sweet Mila Baby is ONE! 💖 Happiest of Birthdays, Princess! 👸🏻 #MassimoandMilaDoingThings #AdventuresofMassimoandMila #Cousins4Lyfe #OGs
I’m standing in my boudoir (which is really my pretty way of saying bathroom). Concealer dots under my eyes, curlers in my hair and a cozy towel wrap. This kid shows up bubbly and giddy, inquisitive about what Mommy is doing. ••••• “Why are those things in your hair, Mommy?!” “So I can have big, pretty hair, Baby” “Can I use them, Mommy?” “Of course you can, Baby” ••••• I hand him a roller and I watch as his sweet 3-year old hands wind the rollers into his hair. I look at the time and I really must keep moving. He looks closely in the mirror concentrating on the task. We have so much to do and I try to hurry us along. I see his face light up as he peeks in the mirror and sees his handi-work. I stop everything and I cheer with him and celebrate this stunning accomplishment of three delightfully placed rollers. We take a picture to send to Daddy. I pause because I realize I’m going to blink and this moment will be gone. This little boy isn’t my baby anymore but I can’t stop calling him that. He will be 40 and I will probably still call him Baby- much to his dismay I am sure. A lump starts to form in my throat as I look on, so grateful to be privy to have a front seat in this little boys life. Watching this sweet kid explore the world is my greatest joy. ••••• Oh, Mama’s, among the 3-year old tantrums and the Jesus take the wheel moments, STOP and find the joy. The joy that breaks your heart wide open. The joy that transforms life. The joy that heals the world. Find it, grab it and never ever let go. #MommyMusings #MisforMassimo #OneGratefulMama
Sometimes we just need to let Jesus take the wheel and know that it’s all going to be okay. Although this may be incredibly adorable, don’t let it fool you. This calm conversation is a far cry from last Saturday morning in Target. He was misbehaving and I exasperatedly said “Jesus take the wheel” and he yelled at the top of his lungs, loud enough for everyone in the store to hear, “JESUS WILL NOT TAKE MY WHEEEEEEEL!!!” I was mortified but also, #realtalk, I completely understood where he was coming from. Sometimes our white knuckled grip on life is so hard to see past or let go of. For those days, only a deep breath and palms up will do. #JesusTakeTheWheel
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