Monday Musing 3.11.19

IMG_8845If you have hung around my blog for any amount of time, you know I am a big believer of life being lived in community. Our squads keep us moving forward and it takes villages to raise children. We have all heard the saying that we are “the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” While I believe that to be true, I also venture to say it’s many more than just five. We are deeply influenced by the people around us – including the ones we follow on social media.

Lately, Hubbz and I have been giving a lot of thought to our communities, both real and virtual. We have posed the question, “do our communities fan our flames or do they extinguish them?” then we flipped that on its head by asking, “do WE fan the flames of others or do we extinguish them?” While it is important to ensure we are surrounding ourselves with people who support our goals, I venture to say it is more important to ensure we are being the kind of people who show up for others.

Musing through my Monday morning, I pose two questions to you, sweet readers…

As you are pioneering adventures and setting your life ablaze, are the people you have around you fanning your flames or extinguishing them?

Are you deeply supporting the people around you on their quest to live their best life?

If the answer to one or both of those is no, I urge you to make an inquiry as to why? From the old testament to the new, the bible is full of verses that encourage supporting others. We live in a world that can feel riddled with selfish desires and we only have this one beautiful life. I wonder what would happen if we took a deep breath and on the exhale, fanned the flames of the lives around us. We just might create an inferno that infuses some warmth into this sometimes cold world.

Meet you back here next week, same time, same place,

cheersdez cursiveslope

 

Monday Musing 3.4.19

I’ve been accused of being an overthinker. Mulling over things, beating dead horses, overusing my proverbial thinking cap until it explodes. For a long time I tried to change that about me because people told me I should… then one day I realized that I was going to be true to me and stop listening to people.

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On that day I realized that my ability to see something so many different ways, to dissect it into parts that I could understand up-close, personal and raw- this way of living was beautiful. It means people like me, the over thinkers of the world, have taken the time to really truly see, know and understand. To look at situations from every angle and with deep reflection. To not just hear but listen. To see the flaws and the truly ugly in a person- yet love them and accept them- sometimes radically.

I’ve realized along the way not everyone is going to understand or agree with the depth in which I experience life. Not everyone is going to be able to grasp how deeply I feel and how fiercely I love. Not everyone is going to be able to handle my spirit that is a little wild and a lot free. I am finally at the point in my life where I can hold my head up and confidently say that is ok.

Perhaps there are places in you that feel the same?

Maybe you’re like me- or maybe you aren’t but know someone who is.

Maybe you totally get them and understand- or maybe they annoy you to no end and drive you batty.

Regardless of how you feel, my sweet readers, trust the ones who overthink all the things. It is through this ability to ponder so deeply that we infuse into world around us warmth, empathy, laughter, connection, and most important of all, love.

Meet you back here next week, same time, same place,

cheersdez cursiveslope

It’s Potty Time!

Recently our son did the coolest thing ever… he peed on the potty for the very first time. I recognize peeing on the potty is a pretty natural occurrence for most of us, but when you’re 2 (and 4 months) we tend to make a pretty large deal about it. It was an unexpected occurrence that changed the game for our little Champ. I was getting his bath ready while he did his routine of undressing and heroically running each undressed item of clothing to his hamper.
He removes the left sock, runs it to the hamper and dunks it.
He removes the right sock, runs it to the hamper and dunks it.
He attempts to remove his pants, get them stuck around his ankles, yells “Mommy helllllllp meeeeeee!!!” I help as he simultaneously yells, “I do it!” We finally get the pants off and he runs them to the hamper, capping it off with a dunk that would impress Jordan.
Next he attempts to remove his shirt by tugging unsuccessfully at the sleeves, yelling, “Can not dooooo it!” I help as he simultaneously yells, “I do it!” We finally get the shirt off and he runs it to the hamper, also capping it off with a dunk that would once again impress the OG of basketball.
After his heroic and successful undressing, off comes the diaper and into the tub he goes.
This night was different though. This night, he wanted to sit in his potty. Sometimes he sits on his potty and jumps right off but this time, he sat for a little longer than usual as his bath filled up. I waited pretending not to watch him because I didn’t want to jinx anything that may or may not be happening. He hopped up off his potty and proudly exclaimed, “Look Mommy! I poop!” I’m not going to lie, I had a moment of panic. I clean poopy diapers all the time but I’m not entirely sure I was prepared to clean a turd out of his potty. I peered in half expecting something resembling the poop emoji smiling up at me. Instead it was the most glorious puddle of pee I’ve ever seen in my life!
I shrieked with excitement and proclaimed “BUDDY YOU DID IT!!! YOU PEEPEED IN THE POTTY!!! MOMMY IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO PROUD OF YOU!!!” I feel like in these life moments shrieks of excitement are not only appropriate but necessary. We proceeded to have a Potty Parade- which is exactly what it sounds like. We took the potty and paraded it to Daddy to have a look. He was amazed. (If you think Potty Parades are  weird you obviously have never had a two year old pee in the potty for the first time.)
I can’t help but giggle as I think of what the three of us must have looked like… Hubbz, Toddler B and I, standing there staring into this little potty amazed at the little puddle of pee. It is here that my mind wanders to all of the other things in life that are as small as a little tinkle in the potty but hold the notion of huge milestones. The musing for your Monday is to remember that life gets so busy and the pace is breakneck more often than not. It is my hope that we can pause and celebrate the tiny things because as the saying goes- one day we will look back and realize they were the really, really big things.
Meet you back here next week, same time, same place,
cheersdez cursiveslope

Monday Musing – February 18, 2019

IMG_8301Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power. You are free.

I wasn’t entirely sure if the most influential lead singer in rock history actually said these words. After a little perusing Google, I gathered enough evidence to suggest it’s a strong possibility. Origin aside, the truth they hold is profound.

As humans our natural instinct is to run from anything that makes us feel uncomfortable or unsafe. While that is fantastic advice when getting chased by a bear, in everyday living that instinct can be detrimental to our growth, success and relationships.

As I was pondering this quote on a recent drive home, I began to think about things I am fearful of and I compiled quite the list. Some of them had justifiable and sound rational. For example, my fear of alligators is 100% fueled by the fact that they run faster than me on land and swim faster than me in the sea… and they can bite my face off. I don’t know about you but I would prefer not to have my face bitten off by an alligator. The other fears I came up with were irrational. Take for example my fear of being eaten by Jaws after he crashes through the deep-end of a swimming pool. Even if Jaws wasn’t a great white and he was a bull shark (which can 100% survive in fresh water) there’s no way he’s crashing through the side of a swimming pool in suburbia… I mean unless of course it’s near an inland river connected to an ocean… I digress.

I look a little closer at this list of fears and I start deconstructing them one by one. As I do I begin to see that while some of them are deep-seeded fears, the things they are seeded into are lies and untruths. Little by little I feel myself gaining freedom. It’s a long process of overcoming fears we have held (some since the beginning of our lifetimes) and I don’t think the work is ever completed on this side of Heaven, but the process of moving through it, freeing up our minds and souls little by little is beautiful and gratifying work.

It’s hard work to stare your fears in the face. It’s uncomfortable and scary- but once you come nose-to-nose with the thing that terrifies your soul, you can name it, you can sit with the emotion around it and then, you can watch as these fears crumble and you become free.

Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power. You are free.

Meet you back here next week, same time, same place,

cheersdez cursiveslope

Happiest of Valentine’s Days

Tom Brady Valentine's DayJudge me if you wish but I will gladly admit I LOVE Valentine’s Day. I love it and I am so extra about it and to be completely transparent… I give zero cares. I could blame it on amazing marketing gurus who work for Hallmark, but really, it was my Mom who took this holiday and grew it to the moon in our lives! My Mama did anything and everything to let us know we were loved. She had Sweetest Day on lockdown and she owned Valentine’s Day like the Boss Mama she was (and still is!) Because of my sweet little Mama (@RockinRoro), I love the hype around the holiday and the pomp and circumstance that accompanies it. I love the chocolate covered strawberries that are currently not part of my eating plan and the overly expensive red roses that make my heart swoon. I love turning the tables and surprising the ones I love with thoughtful gifts that make them feel special. I love leaving little notes behind and I love the joy of surprising perfect strangers with little acts of kindness. With Christmas cheer a distant memory and the January that lasted 700 years officially over, a day to be a little (lot) extra in the love category is welcomed with open arms.

It doesn’t matter if you have a significant other or not- it’s not just about coupledom. Valentine’s Day is about LOVE and that to me is THE GREATEST thing. There are so many people to shower with love on this super special day. There are the obvious ones (spouses, children, family, friends, lovers, co-workers) but then there is the opportunity to think outside the box. Send some love in the form of a free beverage to the lady behind you in the drive-thru line at the Bucks of the Star. Send some love to the elderly neighbor that lives by you in the form of a plant or flowers. Send some love to the person you pass on the street with a smile. On this sweetest, loveliest, most delightful day of celebration, I encourage you to share the love. Go out of your way to put a smile on another person’s face. You never know what they are going through- or who it is that their heart might be missing.

Throw love around like confetti… or if you’re like me, maybe throw actual confetti because that’s super-fun too!!!

I hope your day is full of giddy happiness, wild excitement and maybe even a surprise or few.

Happiest of Valentine’s Days!

cheersdez cursiveslope

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