Mommy’s Got a New Perspective

I sit in the big comfy lay-z-boy recliner in his room and I rock him. The shades are drawn, the lights are off. The gentle hum of his sound machine fills the room. He’s cuddled up close to me. I can feel his not-so-little body relax, slowly letting go of his day and drifting into a nighttime sleep. Oh kid, you’ve taken my idea of what it means to live and thrown it directly out the window. I sit rocking him in this cozy place and get lost in my thoughts…

For a long, long time, I thought to live meant to take fancy vacations to places that you had to roll your tongue to pronounce correctly. I thought it meant oscar-style filet dinners and bougie bottles of champagne. (What can I say… #ChampsDrinkChamps) 😎 In all seriousness, to tell one on myself, for a long time, for me, a well-lived life was measured by the fancy things in it. Sweet baby boy, you’ve given me a new perspective on that and it’s literally blown my mind.

Life is lived on Saturday mornings when Daddy gets you from your room and brings you into bed with us. It’s lived by being woken up to your drool on my cheek and your sweet fingers touching my sleepy face.

Life is lived over dinners on the deck under our little canopy. Your daddy grilling turkey burgers while you let me hold you in my lap as the summer breeze tickles our faces. At dinner time a bite for you, a bite for me. That’s how we eat around here these days and it’s beautiful.

Life is lived on walks around the neighborhood. Daddy and I catch up on our day and you, sweet guy, take your evening nap-a-doo. It is in this space that we pause every so often to look down and you and fawn over how adorable you are snoozing in your stroller.

Life is lived on random Friday nights that are no longer filled with wine and dancing. Instead they are filled with toys and giggles on the floor of your playroom. Daddy and I “ohh and ahh” over each new thing you do still not believing you are really ours. My favorite is when you do something new and your Daddy and I get to experience seeing it together. Our eyes meet and together we are amazed at you.

Baby boy when people used to talk about their kid being their favorite adventure I thought it was an adorable sentiment. Sweetheart, I can honestly say I had no idea the magnitude of what they even meant until now. Everyday with you is an adventure better than the day before. Sometimes I look at you and I want to pinch myself that you’re ours. I know I’m super biased because I made you, but I think you’re the raddest 11 month old on the planet.

I look down at you fast asleep in my arms. There are a million other things I could be doing right now- things that at one point in my life actually seemed so important. The DVR is full of a million things to one day watch. I’m not entirely sure what football game is on tv tonight. The dinner dishes are in the sink and there is laundry that needs to be folded in the dryer. I watch the rise and fall of your chest as you dream all the things little boys dream. Your body is relaxed and the day has faded away. I’m supposed to put you in your crib because all the books caution against rocking you to sleep. I can safely say I threw caution to the wind on that one because you’re only a little boy once.

Sweet buddy, you took my idea of life and flipped it on it’s head. I have never, ever, ever been so grateful for anything in my entire life. You are truly our greatest adventure.

XOXO, Mommy

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