The Terrible ‘Effing Two’s

I have decided that when people were congratulating us on our pregnancy they were withholding information to ensure we didn’t question what the hell we just did. I am certain that they were like “Hooray, it’s amazing!” while silently laughing because just as we would begin to think we had a hold of this parenting thing, they knew our sweet angel baby would turn 2. Two year olds are unpredictable, impetuous humans that seem like sweet angels… until they aren’t.

I love and adore our son… and also, Jesus, take the wheel as we careen head first into the Terrible Two’s.

Lord, have mercy on the working mama’s who have to get themselves and their children ready every morning. The Career Maven Mama’s holding it down like the badass bosses that they are. I am not going to lie… sometimes I fantasize about what life would be like if we were fancy and had a nanny. I won’t hide the fact that I have had daydreams about how fabulous my mornings could be if I didn’t have to worry about getting myself and a walking, talking, very independent, very strong-willed two year old out the door and to daycare. Nobody tells you these things when they are congratulating you on your pregnancy. Nobody tells you about the mornings that you show up at work with milk spilled on you and banana hiding somewhere in your hair because #toddlers. Nobody tells you about the crazy mornings when you’re trying to get out the door and your kid is not cooperating and has zero interest in wearing pants, let alone shoes. Nobody tells you about the time that you will get out of the car at daycare and look down only to realize you are rocking your Adidas flip-flops with your dress. Nobody tells you about the strong will of a toddler who likes to try and climb on everything including pantry shelves.

Lord, have mercy on the Mamas.

I thought about how strong my morning routine could be if Hubbz would hire me a nanny during a recent morning as I was putting my very upset, very loud, very screaming toddler in my Jeep. He was screaming because he wanted to go play outside… in the rain, that was also kind of sleet… in air so cold that it made my boogers freeze. As I buckled him in, I prayed pleaded “Jesus take the wheel because I just can’t even.” To which my toddler screamed “Jesus no take the wheeeeeel!!!!!”

‘EFFING. FANTASTIC.

As I drive him to daycare I feel my eyeholes start to leak because, can I be honest with y’all… this Mom gig is hard sometimes. I see him in the rearview mirror, completely content now and sitting buckled in his seat with his sippy and his stuffed donkey, Pietro.   I am completely dumbfounded how a child can go from terrible to tender in the matter of minutes. I feel the pang in my chest reminding me that these mornings will pass in the blink of an eye.

Before I know it, he will be running out the door.

To catch the bus.

To catch a ride

To catch a plane.

Chasing the goal.

Chasing the girl.

Chasing the dream.

For now, he’s buckled safely where I can see him.

There are days when being a Mama is so hard.

There are days when being a Mama is the most gratifying thing I have ever done.

That strong pang in my chest aches again.

I have a hunch that I will look back on these hard days and hold them dear in my heart. The moments we thought were so hard, our wee ones were learning to spread their wings, test their limits and develop their strengths. As Mama’s we get to give them the space to do this. The going through is trying sometimes but I know that I will look at my son one day and remember that every Terrible ‘Effing Two moment was him learning about the world and becoming strong and independent.

Until that day, Lord, have mercy on the Mamas.