My Journey to the Mommy Club: It’s IUI Day
I look over at the clock. 2:03am. The green lights glare back at me. I roll my eyes at the clock and may or may not have called it a dummy. I’ve just woken up from a dream where I was sitting on stage in Oprah’s studio and Oprah was handing out babies… “You get a baby! And you get a baby! And you get a baby!” Then she turns around and looks at me and goes “And Dollface, the moment you’ve been waiting for… You get a baby!” And the studio lights all spotlight on me and the tv crew brings me out a baby swaddled in a little blanket with the cutest little mint green hat and I’m sobbing and blubbering and there’s confetti, because when Oprah gives you a baby there should always be confetti.
Please don’t take this moment to psycho-analyze my dream and let me know how jacked it is… I’m relishing in the fact that I was just on Oprah and she gave me a baby… And there was confetti.
I lay there for a minute and become Oprah’s newest fan and then wonder what it’s going to be like to hold Baby B in my arms for the first time. I bet I’m probably going to cry… Like an ugly faced cry. Yeah, that definitely won’t be getting posted on Social. But maybe it will because ugly faced cries when holding Baby B are pretty beautiful, I bet.
Next to me Hubbz stirs and pulls me out of my fantasy land. He slinks his arm around my waist and pulls me close to him. I offer up a prayer of gratitude for this man.
I glance back over at the clock 2:07am.
Today is officially IUI day. (If you don’t know what that is, check out my post “The egg, the IUI & the Tattoo”.)
These last 2 weeks have been full of on-point preparations of pills and shots (and I don’t mean the kind that I like to chase with a lemon wedge!) I’ve overcome my fear of needles (ok, not really because I still break out in a cold sweat.) But I have become proficient in mind over matter when it comes to plunging a syringe full of meds in my abdomen. I may or may not have broken my arm patting myself on the back for mastering this feat.
I have no idea what this day is going to hold but I know the one who holds it.
His work is good.
His timing divine.
His plan is perfection.
There are so many incredible people praying and sending good vibes our way and as I lay here I am in awe of “our people”. This journey has taught me many many things but perhaps the most beautiful is that it has opened my eyes to our people. The ones that stick, the ones that haven’t wavered, the ones who have been warriors in prayer, compassion and concern.
This is topped off with the beautiful story of the love of the man sleeping next to me. The man who has picked me up off the bathroom floor when I couldn’t stop sobbing after another negative test. The man who handled my mid-cycle mood swings… Like a boss. The man who held my hand during every ultrasound, every procedure, every doctors visit. I didn’t just marry a man… I married a damn Champion.
We have been praying desperately for Baby B and we have a whole village praying with us. (It takes a village to raise a child and I’ve learned that sometimes it also takes a village to conceive one.) Regardless of the outcome this month, I know one thing in the gut of my soul, God provides. He provides the strength, the means and most of all, the people we need to get us through.
Here’s to #MakingBabyB!