Monday Musings 4.15.19

I laid on the soft, heated table in the dark room, heat lamps hovered above my body radiating warmth across my skin. The temperature outside hovered around 10 degrees but I was in a cocoon of warmth and it was magical. I drifted in and out of sleep while the acupuncture needles did all the things that acupuncture needles do. I was in a state of zenAF and amazing music massaged my eardrums…

Until I heard it…

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP…

ON and ON and ON and ON and ON and ON and ON.

It took me a moment to rouse my brain, defog it and realize this was not a fire alarm. I wasn’t in danger and I should not begin frantically pulling out the acupuncture needles as I searched the darkness for my clothes. This was not any kind of emergency. It was instead, the reminder on my phone prompting me to give my old lady dog with slight incontinence issues her medicine.

I love my little old lady doggie. And also, FRIG.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP…

I laid on the table, now wide awake. I was willing the beeping to turn off so I could get all cozy with my ZenAF mindset again.

It didn’t shut off.

FRIG.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP…

Thank you, Apple for your unyeilding desire to keep me reminded of the shit I asked you to remind me about. You are relentless in the pursuit.

I laid on the table growing more and more annoyed with each beep. I laid yearning to drift back off to LaLaLand. I start to try and make the beeping mesh with the soft music playing… spoiler alert: it doesn’t mesh. At all. Ever.

I laid on the table defeated in my efforts and faced with two choices. I could accept what was happening knowing I couldn’t at all change it, or I could keep fighting the (self-inflicted) situation I found myself in. I realize that I was leaning toward the latter and it was time to flip the flow. Choosing the accept the situation didn’t change anything. It didn’t make the beeping stop and I definitely didn’t get back to my zenAF state. What it did do, was allow me space to not have a negative reaction about what was happening. It goes back to the radical acceptance post I wrote a while back.

I made a conscious choice to be at peace with the situation I found myself in. By accepting that which I could do nothing about and surrendering to it, I laid there in that warm, cozy dark room and I started to laugh. It came out as a giggle at first and turned into an all out belly laugh. As I write this I am still unsure what was so funny but I know the laughter bubbling out helped me not take the situation so serious. In a weird turn of events, acceptance helped me find a new giggly zenAF in a situation that offered zero zenAF notions.

I think about what it means to be human and the things that happen to us in a day. The millions of tiny things that have an impact on who we are and how our days pan out. I think on how many times our circumstances get in the way of our moods, hearts and attitudes.

It is here that I pose a question to you.

With what mindset do you want to spend your day?

Do you want to spend your time letting your circumstance be in control of you or do you want to spend your time joyful regardless of your circumstances? I choose radical acceptance, a shit ton of peace and even more giggly, laughter that bubbles out in pure joy. Choose wisely, sweet readers. We don’t get our days back and rarely do we get do-overs. We don’t always choose our circumstances but we always choose our mindset.