Thinking Out Loud

I sat on the couch nestled in with Bella curled up on my lap reading a fascinating book for one of my classes. My sweet Hubbz, outside doing his weekly mow on the lawn that he loves to keep so pristine. I could hear the speakers on the deck filling the summer evening with tunes. One song ended and up popped none other than Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud. (Since it dropped we have added this song to our list of love songs. It’s accompanied by Let’s Get It On, When God Made You, Sandstorm, Commitment and of course Sexual Healing… Don’t judge us for our epic taste in music… It’s awesome, quirky and totally fantastic. I digress.)

I was comfy in my little couch cocoon but threw off the covers- much to Bella’s dismay. I headed outside because we have a little unspoken tradition… Our songs come on and we stop what we are doing and we dance to them… No matter when. No matter where. To appreciate this fact you have to also know that it hasn’t always been this way. There were a couple years in our 8 year run of marriage that the thought of us having a song was so distant of a thought that it was truly non-existant.

He turned around as I opened the patio door and instinctively put down the hose he was washing the grass off the deck with and walked toward me and smiled. As I danced with my sweet Hubbz on the deck, I was reminded that these moments are what make a marriage. In between him singing and acting out the words to the song and me giggling because he’s the funniest man I have ever met, the lyrics resonated so deep.

People fall in love in mysterious ways,

The wonder of love will always blow my mind. The ways we can love another human being and feel that love in return is incredible. Don’t get me wrong, marriage is not always easy… But it is the most worth it thing we have ever done… In the History of Ever.

Maybe it’s all part of a plan,

I believe to the depths of my soul in God’s sovereign plan over life. I believe the bad things that have happened have opened our eyes to the good things we weren’t paying attention to (Thanks Good Will Hunting for that notion.) I believe our lives are part of a grand plan- the things we do, the people we meet, the good things that happen and even the bad choices we make. There is a reason for it all.

Well, I’ll just keep on making the same mistakes, hoping that you’ll understand

Because we are ridiculously human and we need grace like we need air to breath. We make mistakes. Sometimes they are little and sometimes they are justifiably unforgivable… They are mistakes nonetheless and for that there’s Grace.

…And we found love right where we are

We found love in the midst of a marriage that we had collectively ripped to shreds.

We found love in the midst of total brokenness and decay.

We found love right where we are.

That’s just me thinking out loud.